Volunteer Puppy Love: Raising a Service Dog...

Service groups rely on volunteers to socialize their dogs. Could you be a puppy raiser? Today’s new breed of service dogs provides assistance in a variety of ways beyond their best-known role as escorts for blind companions. They retrieve household objects for people with limited mobility, act as ears for hearing-impaired individuals, monitor children with life-threatening food allergies and more. Some researchers are even exploring the role dogs can play aiding adults suffering from dementia. All of these impressive adult dogs, though, start life much like any other puppy, growing up in a home where they’re loved, socialized and taught basic obedience. Volunteers are a critical part of this process. Because of the high demand for service animals, most training organizations rely on outside help to oversee their dogs’ early care, usually from the time a puppy is about 2 months old until sometime between his first and second birthday. “We could not do what we do without our puppy raisers,” says Nancy Fierer, director of Susquehanna Service Dogs in Pennsylvania, which has more than 60 puppies receiving early socialization in volunteers’ homes at any given time. Who Makes a Good Volunteer? An extensive background with dogs is not required to raise a service pup, says Joyce Thielen, board member (and three-time puppy raiser) with Canine Partners of the Rockies in Colorado. If you want to bring some puppy love into your empty nest — and make a difference in your community — becoming a volunteer “puppy raiser” may be for you. “Puppy raising is an opportunity for someone who is nurturing and interested in the way a puppy learns,” Thielen says. “You’re expected to give the puppy your time, energy and love and attend regular training sessions.” Agencies...

When Should You Step In to Help Your Parents?...

They may brush off your offers, so search out their true needs A parent may ask for the occasional favor, but most won’t ask for help around the house or with their daily activities, even when they need it, says Alberta Chokshi, a social worker and director of quality improvement for Benjamin Rose Institute on Aging. Chokshi, who has been working with families for 40 years, says that instead of seeking help, it’s typical for elderly parents to adapt and adjust their activities and routines. They do household chores more slowly (or not at all). They may use adaptive devices, such as a cane or a reacher or a magnifying glass. Perhaps they’ve lined up someone to pick them up for errands and appointments. And — often just to please their children — they will wear a medical alert bracelet or necklace. What Our Parents Don’t Admit But they usually aren’t admitting — especially to their adult children — that they tend to drop heavy pots, trip on the basement steps, are confused about when to take their medications or back into things with the car. They don’t think it’s any of their kids’ business. Or, they are in denial about what’s going on. Try To See The Big Picture Denial isn’t all on the parents’ side. Adult children are often deep in it, too. They don’t want to admit that a parent is declining and needs help. They may resist accepting that familial roles are starting to reverse and that they need to step in, either helping a parent themselves or lining up support. If you’re guilty of denial, it’s time for you to take a hard look around for the telltale signs that things aren’t going well...

What You Know About Millennials Is Wrong...

10 lessons from what they really think about life and boomers It recently struck me how quick we are to generalize about entire generations and spark polarized, often mean-spirited, viewpoints, instead of fostering more balanced, open-minded perspectives. So, I decided to join the chorus of voices addressing Millennials and boomers in hopes of injecting some positivity into the conversation and providing takeaways that can help build essential bridges. My thought was to interview Millennials who could overturn or broaden commonly-held conceptions about their generation by answering questions about typical topics (e.g., their own traits, views of boomers) as well as issues that they rarely, if ever, consider or discuss — namely, middle age and growing older. I enlisted my 24-year-old son to round up nine Gen Y’ers for me to interview — folks who grew up in towns all over the country, attended college away from home, graduated and then moved to urban locales within the last two to five years. Most of their boomer parents are still alive and married (though not all still live together) and they’re caring for one or more elders. I boiled down the thoughtful and insightful comments I heard to 10 points that hold important lessons for both generations: This is a confusing and tumultuous period for Millennials, but they’re dedicated to figuring things out by being productive and creative. The classic labels slapped on Millennials — lazy and entitled — don’t apply to those I interviewed. They are, of necessity, self-focused and striving to forge a useful path in life. Laura Shoaps, 25, who is from Lansing, Mich. and focusing on international human rights in law school, underscored the tendencies of her peers: “Given how things are now, we’re forced to be...

“Meetup” – an Online Way to Connect with Others in Your Community...

The Meetup website originated in the aftermath of September 11th, 2001.  The co-founder, Scott Heiferman was inspired by the way that the people in New York City came together after that tragic event. There are now Meetup groups all over the world, over 100,000 in-person meetings each week. Meetup is a great tool to meet people in your area if you have just moved there, had a major life change like retirement or being widowed, or just want to connect with others to learn more about a mutual interest. You can join Meetup for free Some Meetup groups have dues or fees, and some are free You can find a group based on your location and interests Groups can be open or private Sections of a Meetup group can be private Some groups require you to answer some questions as you join, or the group may require you to be approved to join   Video and Information Resources: What’s Meetup Length: 2:42 Meetup This gives a good overview of the purpose of Meetup:   To use Meetup, you will need to go to their website to set up a free account. This is a fairly straight-forward process. There is the option of creating a profile for your account. Do keep in mind that there are ways to protect yourself from having others contact you. Once you have set up your account, you can search for a Meetup by subject in your area. There are many categories that you can search:   The other option is to enter a word or words into the search box. You then search by location, entering distance from a specific city: Keep watching this post for additional information on how to use this wonderful resource for connecting with others....

Boomers Just Want to Have Fun...

An argument for keeping play at the top of your priority list Summer nights, the kids in my neighborhood used to gather in our yard, a convenient corner lot, to play a hide-and-seek game. Whoever was “It” counted to 20, screamed “Bloody Murder,” and the heart-pounding hunt in the dark was on. If you were found, you helped locate others before they raced to the safety zone. During the days, girls from three blocks around gathered to play Barbies under our shady maple tree, often leaving the elaborate houses we built for our dolls set up overnight so we could resume play the next day. When it rained, we read or played cards — our parents taught us bridge so we could substitute in their games when necessary, but mostly we played Old Maid or Kings Around the Corner or penny-betting games of Michigan Rummy. We also had Clue, Mystery Date and endless rounds of Monopoly. The games you play as a child help form who you become as an adult, not just because of how you use your mind and body. Childhood play shapes how you enjoy your leisure time and is part of your self-identity deep into adulthood. Earlier this month, I saw a wonderful exhibit, Toys From the 50s, 60s and 70s, at the Minnesota History Center. You can take a walk down memory lane by looking at the attached slideshow based on it. Yet, as we age, as times change, what, how and how much time we spend at play changes, too. The Study of Play Julie Brown, assistant professor of gerontology at Ohio University, studies the importance of play across the lifespan. When she first started researching the relationship between play and quality of...

8 Things Your Aging Parents Want You to Know...

As they get older, they often need to get some long-held things off their chest “I felt guilty every day of my life that I was able to have children and Lilly wasn’t,” my 80-year-old mother confided, quietly, more than a little choked up. Lilly was Mom’s older, much beloved cousin whose lack of offspring had always been a matter of whispered speculation among the relatives of my generation. There was talk of a botched abortion, something that would have been positively scandalous in 1940. Even when “the kids” grew up, it would not have been divulged. My mother wasn’t revealing a family secret. It wasn’t the reason for Lilly’s childless state that was troubling her. She was sharing with me a feeling that had haunted her for decades. What could I say that would be helpful? I pondered that a moment before I opened my mouth. I said what I knew to be true: “You adored Lilly. All of us kids loved her, too. I’m sure she knew how much you cared about her.” For our elderly parents, “getting their house in order” often involves more than consulting with a tax attorney or an estate planner, says Ken Druck, author of The Real Rules of Life. As people age, many reach a stage where they are no longer concerned that we will judge them, so they confide feelings that remained unvoiced for years. “There comes a point where they feel intimate enough with us as adults that they can share unknown truths about their emotional lives,” Druck says. Seeing Parents in a New Light These conversations have the potential to help us see our parents in a new light and forge a deeper connection with them. The trick, of...

9 Steps to Communicating Better...

The older we get, the more important it is to build and foster good relationships with other people. Being social and making new friends is important, since this part of life can bring about many changes in who is in your life. Communicating with others is very important for keeping your brain sharp, in addition to helping your relationships. It is also important to remember that with all the life experiences that you’ve had, you have a lot to offer to others. Being isolated can often spiral into depression and stress, which is why surrounding yourself with familiar, trustworthy friends and loved ones can be a key to staying happy and healthy. One of the best ways to nurture relationships is by learning how to communicate properly. How many friendships fall apart because of a simple misunderstanding or lapse in communication? Have you ever felt like you have misunderstood someone or like someone misunderstood you? The next time you have an issue or something you’d like to address with someone, follow these simple steps to help you communicate clearly. Right Place, Right Time There is a right time and a right place for everything, including conversations. When talking about heavier subjects, or discussing sensitive topics, pick a quiet, private place. Respect the person you are conversing with by giving them the privacy they deserve. The best time to communicate with someone is in the morning or early afternoon. If someone’s had a long, stressful day, having a conversation in the evening may not be the wisest of choices. H.A.L.T. A great way to see if you’re in the right state of mind for a conversation is by using the H.A.L.T. method. H.A.L.T. stands for hungry, angry, lonely or tired,...

Understanding Shyness and 6 Ways to Deal With It...

Have you ever walked into a party or a social situation and found yourself overcome with feelings of anxiousness? Shyness and social unease are quite common and affect millions of people. This may not seem like such a big deal, but as you get older, staying social and building strong friendships is a vital part of maintaining your mental and emotional well-being. With retirement, and the subsequent relocation that sometimes follows, many old friends and familiar social settings can drastically change. Many times, you’ll be forced to step out of your comfort zone in order to forge new connections. This can sometimes cause a lot of anxiety, especially if you’re someone who is inherently shy or feels awkward in social situations. Luckily, there are steps you can take to manage your social anxiety, and overcome your shyness. We’ve listed some of them below: 1. Understand Your Shyness and Accept It According to the Shyness Research Center, shyness has three components: Negative Self-Appraisal – Tending to see everything about yourself in a negative light   (e.g., Everything I do is stupid) Excessive Self-Consciousness – Being overly conscious of yourself, especially in social situations (e.g., Everybody is looking at me.) Irrational Belief System – You create a negative reality out of a negative thought/idea (e.g. Nobody here will like me anyway) Although we all experience different shades of shyness, the core root of shyness can be explained by the following reasons: Low Self-Esteem – You tend to feel worthless and that your actions and unique qualities are not desirable. Extreme Self-Preoccupation – You’re extremely fixated on how your actions are being perceived, and makes you question every move. Defining Yourself as Shy – By defining yourself as shy, or having other people...