5 Steps to Combat and Prevent Elder Abuse...

What a new federal report recommends to curb this scourge Not long ago, my aunt, who is in her 80s, was the victim of financial exploitation by an in-home health aide. It started with trips to the drugstore and small loans. Before long, the caregiver was regularly taking my aunt and her credit card to department stores to purchase clothes and other items — not for my aunt. Eventually, a clerk noticed what was going on and alerted security and our family. By then, however, my aunt was out hundreds, possibly thousands of dollars. No charges were filed, but the caregiver was dismissed. According to The Elder Justice Roadmap, a report just released by the U.S. Department of Justice and the Department of Health and Human Services, my aunt is one of 5 million Americans affected by some form of elder abuse each year (physical or mental abuse, neglect or financial exploitation). Most families, like ours, don’t report such abuses to authorities; only one in 24 do, according to the study. A Widespread Problem The Elder Justice Roadmap is intended to help people and organizations recognize, prevent and address the abuse and exploitation of older adults. One in every 10 people over 60 who lives at home suffers some form of abuse, neglect or exploitation, the report says. Those with dementia are far more likely to be abused or neglected by caregivers. Contrary to popular belief, older adults are more likely to suffer abuse at the hands of their own family members than by a paid caregiver, according to Laura Mosqueda, a geriatrician and director of the National Center on Elder Abuse at University of California Irvine who served on the Elder Justice Roadmap steering committee. Family caregiver abuse...

Stretches and Exercises for Tired, Achy Legs...

4 ways to ease leg and knee pain caused by overdoing it Whether you took a longer walk than usual, tried a new exercise or simply spent all day on your feet, achy legs can make your whole body hurt. If the achiness stems from exercise, blame it on micro-tears in the muscle cells themselves, says Irv Rubenstein, an exercise physiologist and founder of S.T.E.P.S., in Nashville, Tenn. The little tears spark an inflammatory process that’s necessary for healing. “It occurs and enables proper reconstruction of the damaged tissue,” Rubenstein says. Another cause of achy legs and knees is the normal aging process. We experience changes in connective tissue (cartilage), which can cause tightness, according to John Fenger, manager of outpatient rehabilitation at Orange Coast Memorial Medical Center in Fountain Valley, Calif. However, if your legs cramp up when you’re walking down the street for no obvious reason, it’s time to schedule a doctor’s appointment, Fenger says. “The pain may be due to an occlusion (blockage) or it may be neurological,” he notes. Try hair of the dog. Perform a lower intensity, lower volume (reps, sets) version of the activity that made you sore, suggests Rubenstein. If you usually walk vigorously, slow down your pace and cut down the distance. If your soreness is due to lifting weights, cut the weight or do the move without weight and go with fewer sets and repetitions. In addition, extend your warm-up, suggests Rubenstein, since muscles are not just sore but stiff. “This way, you can be sure you’re pushing blood (and its accompaniment, oxygen) into muscles to speed healing,” he says, while helping the lymphatic system remove the “damaged” tissue and toxins. Break up your workouts throughout the day. To strengthen...

“Meetup” – an Online Way to Connect with Others in Your Community...

The Meetup website originated in the aftermath of September 11th, 2001.  The co-founder, Scott Heiferman was inspired by the way that the people in New York City came together after that tragic event. There are now Meetup groups all over the world, over 100,000 in-person meetings each week. Meetup is a great tool to meet people in your area if you have just moved there, had a major life change like retirement or being widowed, or just want to connect with others to learn more about a mutual interest. You can join Meetup for free Some Meetup groups have dues or fees, and some are free You can find a group based on your location and interests Groups can be open or private Sections of a Meetup group can be private Some groups require you to answer some questions as you join, or the group may require you to be approved to join   Video and Information Resources: What’s Meetup Length: 2:42 Meetup This gives a good overview of the purpose of Meetup:   To use Meetup, you will need to go to their website to set up a free account. This is a fairly straight-forward process. There is the option of creating a profile for your account. Do keep in mind that there are ways to protect yourself from having others contact you. Once you have set up your account, you can search for a Meetup by subject in your area. There are many categories that you can search:   The other option is to enter a word or words into the search box. You then search by location, entering distance from a specific city: Keep watching this post for additional information on how to use this wonderful resource for connecting with others....

How to Comfort Someone Who Just Lost a Job...

A career coach offers six tips on what to say and do when a friend or loved one becomes unemployed Losing a job is an all too common, and often traumatic, experience. Years ago, I remember walking toward the exit on my last day at work, packed boxes in hand, alongside my manager. A colleague ran into us and asked my manager if she was leaving. I jumped in and said, “No, I’m leaving,” then burst into tears. Not knowing what to say, my co-worker instinctively gave me a big hug. If your friend, spouse or family member recently became unemployed, it can be hard to know exactly what to say and how to be helpful, beyond offering a hug and expressing sympathy. That’s especially true if the person held the position for many years and hitched his or her identity to the job title. Based on my experience as a career coach, I’d suggest you take these six steps to offer comfort and assistance: Acknowledge the loss. That’s what the colleague who gave me a big hug on my last day essentially did. Anyone who has just become unemployed will appreciate your recognizing the misfortune. Just keep your words simple with something like, “I’m sorry to hear the news.” When the person is ready to talk — and chances are, you’ll notice the signs — listen without adding your own commentary. Ask what he or she needs to ease the transition. Then offer to help. Maybe you can sort through the packed boxes together. Or you might provide a sympathetic ear, letting your friend or loved one talk about what it means to leave the position and how he or she feels about it. Assisting someone in making...

How to Go Gray Naturally...

It’s not easy, but it is possible. These tips can break your cycle of monthly dye jobs. My friends tell me I should consider myself blessed, because at nearly 52 years of age, I’m just beginning to show my gray. And while it doesn’t bother me — yet — I’m starting to think about color for the first time in my life. The odds are, though, that I won’t go there, for a variety of practical reasons: the chemicals, the cost and the hassle of upkeep. But mostly I just don’t want to mess with Mother Nature. I came close to coloring my hair last year, when my father passed away. My sisters and I contemplated dyeing our brunette hair red in solidarity: My father went into the great beyond at 84 with the same gorgeous copper-red hair with which he came into the world. How Women Used to Grapple with Gray Until recently, women fell into two basic camps: those who colored and set their hair until it didn’t, or couldn’t, move (think “helmet head”) and those who went gray naturally. “Several decades ago, when women decided not to color their hair, they just grew it longer and pulled it back,” says Elizabeth Cunnane Phillips, a trichologist at Philip Kingsley salon in New York City. “You got away with having gray hair because that’s what the norm was — it was either done and colored or it wasn’t.” Today, women who want to hide their grays have many options. There are demi- and semi-permanent hair color options that are ammonia-free, and therefore less damaging, as well as permanent color, a stronger cocktail of chemicals that keeps the color longer. (Semi-permanent color typically fades in about a dozen shampoos,...

Second Career? They’re on Their Third and Fourth...

You, too, just might have a succession of encore careers Most of my boomer friends tell their adult children to plan on multiple jobs and careers. The era of corporate loyalty and the organization man and woman is long gone, they (and I) say — due to a hypercompetitive global economy and their likely desire to embrace new opportunities throughout their work lives. Good advice. But boomers ought to heed this insight, too, embracing multiple acts during the second half of life. I think you shouldn’t just plan on a second career, but maybe a third or a fourth. Linda Lyman: On Her Third Career That’s also what Linda Lyman told me with a smile when we met at a Phoenix breakfast event for UMOM, a nonprofit helping families break the cycle of homelessness. She’s exploring her third career in what I call Unretirement (also the title of my new book on the trend). Lyman moved to Phoenix 31 years ago, eventually managing legal services for a land developer. On the 17th anniversary at this job, a colleague congratulated her and asked: “What will you do for the next 17 years?” The thought of spending another 17 years at one place jolted Lyman, then 46. “I have to get out of here,” she thought. “I am going to do something more meaningful.” Lyman next began working at a small nonprofit that mentored at-risk kids, New Pathways for Youth, and ran the group successfully for a decade. She loved the work, but decided it was time to “retire” earlier this year. “Ten years is a long time,” Lyman says. “I needed to have more life balance. I left on my own terms. It’s good.” Now Lyman, 58, is eager to...

Promising Effort to Curb Elder Financial Abuse...

How lawyers will get trained to spot and report potential dangers Financial abuse of the elderly has been called “the crime of the 21st Century” by Kiplinger’s. And as many as one in 20 older adults in America may be victims, according to a new study in the Journal of General Internal Medicine. Can anything be done to prevent this growing disgrace?  Maybe. I’m optimistic about a new effort aimed at getting lawyers to spot and report financial fraud targeting older Americans — scams that have ensnared Mickey Rooney, Brooke Astor and millions of lesser-known people. Why the EIFFE Initiative Has Potential The nonprofit Investor Protection Trust and its sister organization, the Investor Protection Institute have joined up with the American Bar Association (ABA) to launch the Elder Investment Fraud and Financial Exploitation (EIFFE) Prevention Program Legal. “We want to turn the tide and see fewer victims — instead of seeing elder abuse increasing, as it is now,” says Don Blandin, President and CEO of the Investor Protection Trust and the chief architect of the EIFFE program. The EIFFE program has potential, I think, because lawyers can be among the first to spot potential trouble. “We knew that a lot of attorneys — not just elder law attorneys — are helping seniors with estate plans and wills and powers of attorney, so they would be in a position to spot someone who could potentially be at risk of financial exploitation,” says Blandin. Lawyers Want to Get Involved One encouraging sign: lawyers surveyed by the three groups behind EIFFE said they want to help. Nine of 10 practicing attorneys among the 674 surveyed said they’d be willing to participate in a continuing legal education program “about detecting, preventing and redressing”...

Building a Network to Look Out for Your Parents...

From neighbors to relatives to the pizza delivery woman, it’s critical to have people looking out for a parent who’s aging in place If you’re looking out for a parent in declining health who continues to live alone, and who resides more than an hour’s drive away, consider yourself a long-distance caregiver. It’s a hard role to fill alone, but an informal network of eyes and ears can provide crucial aid. These supporters can be neighbors, friends, parishioners, even a mail carrier or the pizza delivery person. Predictability can make it easier to keep track of a parent’s activities, and to tell quickly if something is wrong, says Carol Bradley Bursack, author of Minding Our Elders (McCleery and Sons, 2005). When you’re on the scene, commit some time to following your parent’s routines and seeing who they interact with daily or weekly. Identify and get to know those people, who could become part of your network. If, for example, your mother goes to the bank every Monday morning, her regular teller may take notice if she doesn’t come in one day. Next time you have the opportunity, accompany your mother to the bank, meet the teller, and consider giving him or her your phone number. Your efforts shouldn’t be a secret from your parent. “Explain that it’s for safety, and that they’re not intruding, just checking on her,” says Gail Hunt, president and chief executive of the National Alliance for Caregiving in Bethesda, Md. These strategies can help as well: Find out who delivers to your parent. Anyone who makes regular deliveries to your parent, like a mail carrier, paperboy or supermarket carrier, is a potential source of help. If these people notice mail and newspapers piling up, or...