Creativity Can Empower Your Second Half of Life...

There are many ways to uncover and develop your creativity. The great thing is … it can help all aspects of your life. Every day we hear of amazing creative people who are active well into their seventies and eighties. One of the most famous was Grandma Moses (1860-1961), an American folk artist, who started her art career when she was 79 and continued well into her 90’s. People view her as remarkable because she started her art career so late in life. She is not unusual in terms of people who continue to their creative endeavors to the very end. George Burns (1896-1996), the American actor and author so many loved, started out in the days of vaudeville and acted well into his 80’s. Dame Agatha Christie (1890-1976), the detective novelist, wrote up until her death at age 86, her books selling over 100 million copies. In your own life, you probably have friends who are always trying some new creative endeavor, so it’s not just the famous who nurture this aspect of life. Many changes occur as we enter the older years, and they are often factors that can release aspects of creativity that have lain dormant. When families have been raised there is often more time to pursue creative activities. At some point, careers come to an end, and a person can pursue creative hobbies, or even start an encore (encore.org) career that enables them to use their creative talents. The brain is different in the later years, and many of the ways are amazing and wondrous. It is conceivably part of our evolution as mankind. So many are living to be so much older, not only in the United States, but all over the world....

How to Visit Your Aging Parent the Right Way...

Taking a different approach can make things better for both of you Katherine Arnup, a retired professor at Carleton University in Ottawa, Canada, and now life coach, got an education in caregiving when her sister and parents got sick. She later became a hospice volunteer. She drew on those experiences for her latest book, I Don’t Have Time for This!: A Compassionate Guide to Caring for Your Aging Parents and Yourself. Arnup writes about the importance of being “being present” when you visit an aging parent. The following is excerpted from one of the book’s chapters. Settle In, Look Around When you arrive to visit your parents, take the time to get settled. It might help to take a few deep intentional breaths before you open the door to their house or apartment. Once inside, resist the urge to start blathering on and on just to fill the void, or to cover up your discomfort or nervousness. Listen. Observe. How does the house or apartment look? What changes do you notice since your last visit? Is your father wearing clothes with obvious stains? Are there a week’s worth of papers stacked up beside his chair? What might this mean? Is it typical? Might it be a hazard? Not Your House Because of our discomfort, we often fall into the habit of cleaning up, putting things “back in their place,” or throwing things out that we consider to be garbage or recycling. These actions are likely to cause unnecessary frustration and confusion for your parents. They know where everything is now, and you’re only disrupting that order. Sometimes it’s hard to remember that it’s their house, not yours. I’m not suggesting you ignore signs of distress or mental confusion. But...

Why You Should Give Yourself a Hug...

Self-compassion improves health The lives of millions of boomers in their 50s and 60s have been characterized by ambition, achievement and competitiveness. Then the recession and lingering economic woes took their toll. For many, drive has given way to disappointment. Self-esteem has been eclipsed by worries about money, retirement and aging. Many of us think we should be doing better. But here’s advice worth heeding: Stop berating yourself. A growing body of research from some of the nation’s top universities is documenting the benefits of self-compassion — being as kind and accepting of your own failures as you would a friend’s. Giving yourself a break and accepting your imperfections improves overall health and well-being, boosts creativity and success and can even help people cope better with aging, studies have found. Moreover, those who score high on tests of self-compassion have less depression and anxiety. We Are All Imperfect “Treating oneself kindly leads people to understand and experience the reality that their troubles are part of the human condition,” says University of Texas at Austin educational psychology associate professor Kristin Neff , who has published a book on her research on self-compassion, Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself. Self-compassion, Neff says, is recognizing that we are all imperfect and should support ourselves, as well as others. This is especially relevant for boomers who, at this stage, tend to tally their life achievements and come up short. Even bags under the eyes and a painful joint or two can lead to a barrage of self-criticism. In fact, says Neff, people with low self-compassion mistakenly believe that being self-critical will motivate them. “But being kind to yourself does not lower standards,” she says. “With self compassion you aim and reach...

5 Secrets to Transform Your Experience of Aging...

They’ll help you shift from a sense of loss to a sense of gain My 15-year-old son Evan walked off the tennis court triumphantly, as if he had just won the U.S. Open. Up to that point, our matches had always ended in a tie: I made sure of that or, rather, I could make sure of that. Now, toweling off while feeling an unfamiliar tug on my heart, I said to him, “Hey, Ev, did you ever wonder why the score always remained the same in our tennis matches over the years?” Then, in a suggestive whisper, I continued: “Maybe you could continue that trend — gracefully?” He didn’t respond, but I knew his answer. And it was deafening. Walking back to the car, I was consumed by the thought that my relationship with Evan (and with my life generally) was clearly at a crossroads. Staying positive as I aged would require letting go of capacities that were diminishing and embracing ones that were expanding. Easy transition? No! Gratifying? Mostly! Here are five secrets I’ve learned along the way that helped turn my experience of aging from a sense of loss into a sense of gain: Learn to accept what is. There is no end to the expanding benefits of embracing life on its own terms. If I hadn’t accepted my inevitable decline in physical acuity — the awareness of which began on the tennis court that day — it would have led to nothing but suffering. Instead, by refocusing my attention on supporting, even celebrating, my son’s physical ascension from boy to early manhood, I was able to walk away from “defeat” feeling relatively good. This mindset shift allowed me to interpret the situation, and many others...

7 Ways to Avoid Stress-Related Weight Gain...

How to chill out and keep the pounds off Stressful home situations or working at a job that makes you crazy can lead to weight gain over time, according to a new study from Ohio State University. The study involved 58 women, average age 53, who were questioned about their prior day’s stressful events before being given a high-fat meal of 930 calories and 60 grams of fat (equivalent to a quarter pounder with cheese and bacon plus fries). Afterward, researchers measured the women’s metabolic rates (the time it took for them to burn calories and fat). Blood sugar, insulin, and the stress hormone cortisol were among the parameters measured. The participants who reported one or more stressful situations during the previous 24 hours burned 104 fewer calories than the non-stressed women in the seven hours after eating the high-fat meal. This difference adds up to a potential weight gain of an alarming 11 pounds a year. “Keep in mind, however, we don’t know if differences in activity level might have contributed to the results of this study,” says Dr. Brian Quebbemann, founder of the N.E.W. Program in Newport Beach, Calif., who was not part of the study. “Regardless, stress has been long known to result in a tendency to gain weight. Stress works by increasing the fight-or-flight hormone, cortisol, which makes you hungrier and also stimulates the deposit of fat around your midsection.” The solutions: Stress reduction through activity helps you feel more relaxed and keeps your metabolism from tanking. Plan stress-relieving activities. Stress reduction can be achieved by doing an activity that helps you feel more relaxed or by avoiding stressful situations, says Quebbemann. “Make a list of things you enjoy (a walk, bubble bath, reading) that...

Practice Mindfulness and Find Peace...

“Be happy in the moment, that’s enough. Each moment is all we need, not more.” ― Mother Teresa Growing older is like stepping into the great unknown. Each day has the possibility of bringing great success, tragedy, or just plain monotony. Many enter their golden years unsure, and scared of what the future may hold. As our bodies begin to age, losing the strength and tone it once had, with our hearing and eyesight beginning to fade, it’s easy to panic. Everything begins to change at an alarming pace, and so we begin the tireless search for the fountain of youth, something that will restore peace and calm in our life. We see it all around us, people using (and sometimes abusing) diet and exercise fads, anti-aging products, plastic surgery, “miracle” drugs and anything else that promises to slow the aging process. Instead of appreciating the serenity and wisdom that comes with growing older, many fall into a deep depression, and become jaded and pessimistic. How do you stop yourself from being part of this vicious cycle? How can you learn to be happy, despite all the changes that are happening in your life? Mindfulness. Mindfulness is a concept that focuses on awareness and attention. Although it is derived from the Buddhist religion, psychologists have been using it since the 1970’s to help people suffering from a variety of psychological conditions, including anxiety, depression and stress. There is a difference between practicing mindfulness vs. meditating. Meditating is a spiritual or relaxing mental exercise, such as focusing on breathing or chanting, whereas mindfulness is about being aware and attentive in a non-judgmental manner. Mindfulness meditation is all about being aware of your surroundings, the feelings in your body, the noises...