Are You a Caregiver or Just a Good Child?...

The way you view your role makes a big difference For some of us, middle age brings new opportunities — career reinvention, an empty nest, and time to pursue new interests. For millions of others, it brings the daunting and awkward responsibility of caring for an ailing parent. Nearly 10 million adults over age 50 give full- or part-time care to their parents in the United States, and their numbers are growing. As a recent paper in the academic journal The Geronotlogist put it, “the longevity of the relationships that baby boomers have with their parents and siblings is unprecedented,” and the generation “will witness unprecedented numbers of people who both provide care to the generation that preceded them and require care from the generation that will follow.” The role of caregiver is as old as human history. But today, as several experts in family caregiving have discovered, how you identify yourself — as a “caregiver” or a “good child” who is “helping Mom out” — can make a crucial difference in how the role affects you. Why Your Identification Matters “Caregiving means caring for both your loved one and yourself, so the health and well-being of two people are at stake when caregivers do not self-identify,” says Next Avenue columnist Sherri Snelling, chief executive of the Caregiving Club. When you don’t think of yourself as a caregiver, you may fail to take advantage of a range of support services available to help you manage the role. “Employers, community agencies, national organizations, and local and federal government offer services to help caregivers, but first you have to know you are one. By speaking up and saying ‘I’m a caregiver’ you will find resources that can help you care for...

8 Things Your Aging Parents Want You to Know...

As they get older, they often need to get some long-held things off their chest “I felt guilty every day of my life that I was able to have children and Lilly wasn’t,” my 80-year-old mother confided, quietly, more than a little choked up. Lilly was Mom’s older, much beloved cousin whose lack of offspring had always been a matter of whispered speculation among the relatives of my generation. There was talk of a botched abortion, something that would have been positively scandalous in 1940. Even when “the kids” grew up, it would not have been divulged. My mother wasn’t revealing a family secret. It wasn’t the reason for Lilly’s childless state that was troubling her. She was sharing with me a feeling that had haunted her for decades. What could I say that would be helpful? I pondered that a moment before I opened my mouth. I said what I knew to be true: “You adored Lilly. All of us kids loved her, too. I’m sure she knew how much you cared about her.” For our elderly parents, “getting their house in order” often involves more than consulting with a tax attorney or an estate planner, says Ken Druck, author of The Real Rules of Life. As people age, many reach a stage where they are no longer concerned that we will judge them, so they confide feelings that remained unvoiced for years. “There comes a point where they feel intimate enough with us as adults that they can share unknown truths about their emotional lives,” Druck says. Seeing Parents in a New Light These conversations have the potential to help us see our parents in a new light and forge a deeper connection with them. The trick, of...

9 Steps to Communicating Better...

The older we get, the more important it is to build and foster good relationships with other people. Being social and making new friends is important, since this part of life can bring about many changes in who is in your life. Communicating with others is very important for keeping your brain sharp, in addition to helping your relationships. It is also important to remember that with all the life experiences that you’ve had, you have a lot to offer to others. Being isolated can often spiral into depression and stress, which is why surrounding yourself with familiar, trustworthy friends and loved ones can be a key to staying happy and healthy. One of the best ways to nurture relationships is by learning how to communicate properly. How many friendships fall apart because of a simple misunderstanding or lapse in communication? Have you ever felt like you have misunderstood someone or like someone misunderstood you? The next time you have an issue or something you’d like to address with someone, follow these simple steps to help you communicate clearly. Right Place, Right Time There is a right time and a right place for everything, including conversations. When talking about heavier subjects, or discussing sensitive topics, pick a quiet, private place. Respect the person you are conversing with by giving them the privacy they deserve. The best time to communicate with someone is in the morning or early afternoon. If someone’s had a long, stressful day, having a conversation in the evening may not be the wisest of choices. H.A.L.T. A great way to see if you’re in the right state of mind for a conversation is by using the H.A.L.T. method. H.A.L.T. stands for hungry, angry, lonely or tired,...

Parkinson’s Disease: What It Is, How To Diagnose It, What Do To Control It...

Parkinson’s Disease (PD) is a neurological movement disorder that happens when certain brain neurons become impaired and can no longer produce dopamine. Dopamine is a chemical that is important for relaying messages between different parts of the brain to help control movements in the body.  This is what allows people to have smooth movements.  Parkinson effects are not noticeable until 60 – 80% of the cells that produce dopamine are compromised. In the United States, as many as one million people live with Parkinson’s Disease, and there are 60,000   new cases diagnosed every year.  Parkinson’s tends to impact senior citizens the most, with almost 1% of Americans over the age of 65 experiencing some form of the disease. About 4% of those with the disease are younger than 50. This can be a difficult diagnosis at any age. There is a specific website for young-onset Parkinson’s which is quite helpful. Early diagnosis of PD is important, so that its progression can be stopped or slowed. It is important to watch for the following changes: Tremors or shaking of limbs, fingers, chin or other body parts. These movements can be normal after heavy exercise or an injury. Handwriting changes, often becoming smaller or more crowded. This tends to happen more suddenly than age related handwriting changes. Loss of smell, especially that of foods like bananas, licorice or pickles. This is not the type of smelling loss associated with colds or flu, but is more persistent. Trouble sleeping because of sudden movements or thrashing around in bed. Trouble moving or walking, because of stiffness in your body, arms, or legs. Change in coordination and balance. This is not the type associated with an injury or arthritis. Constipation, and straining to move your bowels every day. If...

Current Research Being Done at University of Colorado Anschutz Center...

With the predictions of how many people with be affected by Alzheimer’s Disease over the next decades, it is very exciting to know about the research that is being done. It is very hopeful that there will be a way to stem the tide on the worldwide disease. Dr. Huntington Potter, one of the top Alzheimer’s researcher, has found a common link with those who have Down’s syndrome. This video is long – 1 hour and 14 minutes, but it has a good graphics along with the explanation of the dynamics of the Alzheimer’s disease.  There are excellent questions from an audience that seem to be quite knowledgable. For those who would rather have a written explanation of the disease itself, this can be found on the Alzheimer’s Association’s website. There is also good information on the research that is being done on their website. This site is for information only, and is for your voluntary use at your own risk. See Terms of...

Four Major Conditions that Could Affect Your Vision...

Vision loss has become a major health issue for seniors. 30% of Americans, age 65 and older suffer from vision problems that can’t be corrected with contact lenses or glasses. The American Foundation for the Blind reports the prediction is that this number will double by the year 2030. Losing your vision can severely impact the quality of your life. Aside from hindering basic activities such as reading or watching TV, losing your vision can impact your mobility and freedom. Visually impaired seniors are also at a much higher risk for falls and fractures. Many seniors may experience depression as a result of their vision problems, and the resulting limitations in their lives. Age-related vision problems are usually caused by one of these four major conditions: cataracts, diabetic retinopathy, macular degeneration and glaucoma. Cataracts Cataracts occur when too much protein builds up in your eye lens, resulting in a clouding of your vision. Over half of all Americans age 65 and older have cataracts, and it is the number one cause of blindness worldwide. Some of its symptoms include: vision that seems cloudy, blurry or foggy, double vision, perceiving colors differently and problems with glare and halos around lights. In the United States, cataract surgery, which is readily available and effective, has reduced the blinding effect of cataracts. It is usually recommended to those who have cataracts that impact their everyday activities. You can also take preventative measures in order to lower your chances of getting cataracts. A study reported by the National Center of Biotechnology Information showed that those eating a diet rich in antioxidant vitamins, such as vitamins A, C and E, had a smaller risk of developing cataracts. Diabetic Retinopathy Diabetic Retinopathy causes the blood vessels...

Affects of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder...

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder and How It May Be Affecting You Karen is a happy-go lucky 65-year old retiree. She spends her time volunteering and working in her garden. One day, a good friend of hers picks her up to drive to church. On the way there, a semi-truck loses control and crashes into their car, killing Karen’s friend instantly. Karen survives, suffering only a few broken ribs, and bruising. Since the accident, Karen keeps having flashbacks, which cause her to lose sense of time. These flashbacks frighten her, and she has a hard time doing anything that reminds her of the accident. This includes going to church, riding in cars, or anything that reminds her of the friend she lost. She loses interest in things, and begins to drink heavily in order to deal with the anxiety she feels. Eventually, her family persuades her to go see a therapist, who diagnoses her with PTSD. Post-traumatic Stress Syndrome (PTSD) is an anxiety disorder that develops after someone is exposed to a traumatic event. This can include serious injury, sexual or physical assault, or any sort of life-threatening event such as natural disasters or near-death encounters among many others. It’s normal to feel an array of intense emotions after experiencing something traumatic, but if these feelings last for more than a month, it could indicate that a person may be suffering from PTSD. When we are faced with a dangerous situation, it arouses fear within us, which in turn causes our body to produce adrenaline. This adrenaline keeps us highly alert and defensive, in order to help us avoid or defend ourselves against whatever danger we may be faced with. PTSD causes a change in our body, which makes it so...

Facing Depression in The Second Half of Life...

The later years of life often bring with them tremendous changes. With the freedom of retirement often comes increased isolation, which, coupled with medical problems and the loss of loved ones, finds many people entering the second half of their life with varying states of depression. Depression is a serious illness, one that affects 15 out of every 100 adults over the age of 65. Many who have never been depressed, may find themselves facing the onset of depression in the later part of their life due to being exposed to new stressors such as illness or hospitalization. Almost 25% of senior citizens with a chronic illness and 50% of nursing home residents are affected by depression. It’s important to recognize that depression is not a passing mood. The sadness that comes with grief or having an off day is very different than feeling depressed. While most people who are faced with grief or sadness of some sort can usually move through regular activities with little to no problems, people who suffer from symptoms of depression are often immobilized by their symptoms. Where grief comes in waves of varying intensity, depression is a persistent, unrelenting sadness that affects all parts of a person’s life. Without treatment, depression can worsen other illnesses, lead to disability, cause premature death or result in successful suicide. Many seniors will deny feeling sadness, but the symptoms of depression are far larger than just feeling sad.  Here are some other symptoms you may experience if you are depressed: Anxiety and Worry Memory Problems Feeling Hopeless or Helpless Easily Irritable Loss of Interest in Hobbies and Socializing Neglecting Your Personal Care Lack of Motivation No Energy Sleep Disturbances What causes this depression? According to Dr. Rafi...