Why 50+ Women Should Take Control of Their Money...

It’s not too late to start managing your financial future. Here’s how. When I ask my working girlfriends when they plan to retire, or if they plan to retire, I usually get a quizzical look — and then a shrug. Most of them are in their 50s and 60s and they all seem to think the notion of not working for pay is rather unrealistic. Why? “If I stop bringing home a paycheck of some sort, I’m afraid I’ll outlive my money,” one of my college friends, who is single, told me recently. Even the ones who are married and have a spouse who has presumably also been socking money away echo that deep-seated sentiment. It’s there lurking in the shadows and pushing many of us out of bed to get to work: the bag lady specter. While I truly dislike this image, there is a grain of reality in the fear. Retirement Fears Are Pervasive A 2013 survey from PNC Financial Services Group found that more than half of women agreed with the statement: “I’m afraid I may not be able to retire.” And 38 percent of women said they believed they were prepared for retirement; 48 percent of men felt that way. For women over 50, the stakes are especially high. “Women age 50 and older — especially unmarried women — face extreme financial risks and potential poverty in retirement,” Transamerica Center for Retirement Studies President Transamerica Center Retirement Research told me. Many of these women who Transamerica has surveyed say they plan to work until age 70 or later or don’t plan to retire at all. That plan, however, might be faulty. “Life’s unforeseen circumstances such as health issues or a job loss can derail the...

8 Things Not to Say to Your Aging Parents...

Unintended barbs cut to the quick and can’t be taken back. Here are some better options.  I’m going to say something politically incorrect here: Sometimes our elderly parents make us a little nuts. (And sometimes they out-and-out drive us crazy.) We love you, Mom and Dad, but we’ve heard the story about Aunt Cissy pouring wine in the dog’s bowl so many times we can tell it ourselves — in our sleep. The repetitions, the forgetfulness, the incessant asking whether we’d like a sandwich: Eventually it just happens, and out of our well-meaning mouths tumble snarky comments and insults that we really don’t mean but they … just … slip … out. “Seniors often know that their memory and cognitive and physical abilities are declining, and reminders are only hurtful,” says Francine Lederer, a psychotherapist in Los Angeles who works with “sandwich generation” patients and their parents. But even when we manage to hold our tongue, frustration lingers. That’s when we have to be doubly mindful, because by repressing those emotions, we’re more likely to have an emotional outburst. “You might be justifiably annoyed,” Lederer says, “but take a step back and consider how your parent must feel as she faces her diminished capacities.” When people first start “slipping,” they are aware of the loss, and they are often terrified, scared and saddened. Since forewarned is forearmed, here are eight common things we often catch ourselves saying plus suggestions for less hurtful ways to say them. “How can you not remember that!?” That lengthy discussion you had last week with your dad about getting the car inspected might as well never have happened. Seniors often lose short-term memory before long-term and forget all kinds of things we think are...

7 Common Drugs That Are Toxic for Your Brain...

These widely used medications can be especially harmful for older adults Want to keep your brain — or the brain of someone you love — as healthy as possible? Of course you do. So you’ve been learning about what to do: what kind of physical exercise to try, what kind of brain games to play, what kinds of foods to eat, what kinds of supplements to take, what kind of sleep to get. But you should also be learning what not to do. Specifically, you should learn what kinds of toxins to avoid to protect your brain’s health. And even if you are super-fit and never take any medications, it’s good to know what to help your friends and family avoid. As a doctor specialized in aging, I have noticed that even health-conscious people rarely know that many commonly used medications are bad for brain health. And I’m not just talking about habit-forming sedatives. Drugs like Valium do indeed harm the brain, but they’re much less often used than another class of brain-toxic drugs: the “anticholinergic” drugs. Warning Label Needed? These drugs are in everything from allergy medicines to muscle relaxants to painkillers. They are in many over-the-counter (OTC) medications, and they are often prescribed for a variety of common health complaints. I’ve never quite understood why there isn’t more of a brain health warning on these drugs. They block acetylcholine, a key neurotransmitter in the body. This leads to lower brain function, which people often experience as sedation. Sometimes, that drowsiness is why people take the drugs, and a little sedation might sound benign. But if your brain is older, or otherwise vulnerable, don’t underestimate these drugs. Research has linked them to increased risk of Alzheimer’s disease and...

When Does It Pay to Go Back to School in Midlife?...

Getting a degree or certificate won’t guarantee a job. Here’s what you need to know to increase your chances of finding new work. I suspect many Americans in their 50s and 60s are considering going back to school to improve their career prospects. After all, getting additional education in midlife — whether it’s a bachelors degree, a masters or a certificate — can be an excellent way to move into a new career, earn a promotion or make more money. But college isn’t cheap and there’s no guarantee that further schooling will lead to a new job or fatten your paycheck. So when does it pay to go back to school after age 50 or so? A Midlife Degree Is No Job Guarantee I got to thinking about this issue after my editor forwarded me an email from a distraught 59-year-old Next Avenue reader. She couldn’t find a job after picking up a bachelor’s degree in social work because employers said she lacked the necessary experience. That’s an all too common chicken-and-egg predicament faced by many new, older graduates: You need relevant experience to get a new job, but you need a job to gain relevant experience. If going back to school, either for a degree or a certificate, is something you’re thinking about, here are three considerations for choosing a program wisely, plus two tips to help you find a job after completing your studies: How to Select a Back-to-School Program Research employment rates for new graduates. There was a time when pretty much any college degree was a ticket to a new job. But those days are long gone. According to “Hard Times, College Majors, Unemployment and Earnings 2013,” a study just released by the Georgetown University...

Housesitting: A Fun Way to Travel the World on a Dime...

Here’s how it works and what to watch out for When boomers want to escape the 9-to-5 workplace grind and the demands of caregiving for parents and/or kids wane, many dream of traveling. A recent survey found that 59 percent of retirees look forward to exploring new places during the second part of their lives. But people soon realize the cost of traveling for extended periods can be daunting, especially when living on a reduced income. That’s why housesitting has become an increasingly popular way to live away from home without the steep pricetag. What is Housesitting? Housesitting entails taking care of someone else’s property (and possibly their pets) in exchange for your stay. In the past, it typically took the form of informal arrangements between people who knew each other. Less commonly, individuals or couples were hired by professional agencies that employ housesitters at a salary, usually for long periods of time. Over the past decade, though, technology has spawned a new model of unpaid housesitting, with websites connecting homeowners and potential sitters for jobs lasting weeks or months at a time. This peer-to-peer model is part of the same “sharing economy” that laid the foundation for successful businesses such as Uber and Airbnb. Retirees are leading the pack among housesitting-site users. The sites are also popular with people who are semi-retired or have location-independent (portable) careers. “Without a doubt, other housesitting networks would agree that ‘silver surfers’ are a trusted mainstay of our customer base,” says Lamia Walker, founder of HouseSitMatch.com. Why Housesitting Isn’t Entirely Free Housesitting isn’t a totally free ride. While it can offer substantial savings on accommodations, housesitters still must pay for their food, airfare and transportation costs. Since it can be difficult to...

4 Things You Can Fix About Your Aging Body...

You can’t turn back time, but you can undo some of the damage done Most of the time, we should hold on to our wallets (and our dignity) when someone tells us we can look and feel younger — unless that someone is Dr. Daniel Neides, medical director of the Wellness Institute at the Cleveland Clinic. Neides says “absolutely” we can undo some of the damage done to our bodies by neglect and the passage of time, and not just in the abstract terms of reducing disease risk. Neides believes we can shake off some of the very real ways that we feel age creeping up on us day to day. Here are his answers to four common fiftysomething questions: I used to be able to eat anything. Now I can’t have (onions/garlic/tomatoes/fill in the blank) or acid reflux kicks in and even wakes me up at night. Can I get back to enjoying any kind of food at any time of day? We can absolutely reverse the symptoms that you just described by changing lifestyle. The answer is not taking a proton pump inhibitor, like Prilosec, or an H2 blocker, like Zantac. That’s only minimizing the symptoms. We want to get to the root cause. The major problem that we see with what we call the SAD, the Standard American Diet, is that it’s incredibly pro-inflammatory. We eat food that increases inflammation in the body and causes us to develop diseases — heart disease, vascular disease, dementia, depression. It’s just a recipe for disaster. Our immune system is always on and always fighting. There’s collateral damage associated with this. Over time, we damage the lining of our arteries, the lining of our intestinal tract. The first thing I...

Declutter Challenge: What Works Best for You?...

Next Avenue readers share their top tips for getting rid of junk My 30-Day Declutter Challenge ended in a flurry as I scrambled to complete the last three days of clutter collection. The goal of the challenge, started on Aug. 1, was to collect one item on Day 1, two on Day 2 and so forth for 30 days. By the end, on Aug. 30, I had culled more than the requisite 465 items, really closer to 500. My declutter pile is big (see ugly photo) but not as big as I imagined when I started the challenge — maybe because I didn’t have large items like furniture to shed. Instead, I have amassed a large pile of small items like books, toys and electronic flotsam and jetsam. The challenge was well suited to a declutter procrastinator like me. Having rules to guide (and force) me to collect a certain number of items per day was really helpful. It occurred to me that you might also do the challenge backwards starting with 30 items when you are most fired up and work down to one item for Day 30. However you get there, you’ll be glad you did. Readers Share Their Declutter Tips We invited readers to join the challenge (it’s not too late to start now) and asked them to share their best tips for paring down their possessions. They had some great advice: “I keep a shopping bag and fill it with things to give away, and donate that full bag every week to a local thrift shop. Then I open a new shopping bag to fill.” Pamela Koller, Queens, N.Y. “I decide what has value for me today. What do I really need and want in...

When and How to Coax Your Parent to Move Closer...

If you’re wondering whether a faraway mom or dad should relocate closer to you, these tips can help Eight years ago, my dad moved to a tiny town in New Mexico after nearly four decades in New York City. Then an active 73-year-old retiree, he yearned for a taste of mythic Southwest living, four acres and a dog. But what seemed like an almost exotic locale when my husband and I first visited him (“Look, a tumbleweed!”) is now a growing source of worry and expense for my family as well as for my brother and his wife. There are no direct flights to my father’s area from our homes in New York and Connecticut, so it’s an 11-hour schlep. It costs about $1,200 for my husband, son and me to fly there, so it’s not like we can afford to just pop in whenever Dad needs us. Can Dad Still Manage to Live By Himself? On top of that, my father is now 81 and moving more slowly. He’s generally healthy, but when I visited him last fall, I was concerned about whether he could still take care of the house and yard and manage the two-hour drives to the nearest VA center for his medical checkups. (He’s a Korean War veteran.) My brother and I and our spouses have batted around the idea of moving Dad back East, but it’s hard to persuade a guy who’s (knock wood) still self-sufficient and happy where he is. Heck, he’s producing a local play as we speak. Apparently, however, we should try. And soon. Jean Levin, executive director of Caring From a Distance, a nonprofit in Washington, D.C., that connects caregivers with resources, says this is actually the ideal time...